s t r a w b e r r y f i e l d s

1. Anatomy of a Fall: that poor dog. Why is the dog such a good actor? i could empathise with the woman, who some might think as unlikable.

2. The Zone of Interest: in a word (or two), aurally oppressive. extremely long opening sequence of just oppressive sound/music, playing all throughout, again with few further interludes of just music/sound. it's certainly cinematic. well made. it makes you think, it is on your mind for days after.

1. Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan: another short basically a novella. Brief and affecting.

2. Roman Stories by Jhumpa Lahiri: a book of shorts, yet another jhumpa but a little different. this time, about a bunch of disparate characters in rome, including 'locals', refugees and other expats/immigrants, as opposed to all those bengali migrant stories. darker. not sure i enjoyed as much. i could feel a distance. 

3. Tom Lake by Ann Patchett: she is a writer of the coziest of cozy fiction. she makes me feel all the things, nostalgia, love, youth, every little thing. love. 

4. The Trees by Percival Everett: it was an interesting premise that kinda went... a bit kooky and fantastical at the end.

5. Naomi Osaka by Ben Rothenberg: i've been following ben on twitter and his pod for years and years, and it's good to read his book on an athlete i like. do i feel i know her now? much better? not really. but it did let me feel the emotions of it all again. he writes well.

6. The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman: his works are fine, but like it's mainstream stuff innit? why are some ppl so gushy about them i will never know. 

7. The Mysterious Case of the Alperton Angels by Janice Hallett: i tore through this, absolutely tore through it within few days, despite its hefty 650ish pages. similar to daisy and the six, its format is not prose, but composed of 'transcripts' of interviews/convos, emails and chat logs, so made it a fast read, content was intriguing and compelling and full of mystery. i couldn't wait to get back to reading it, kept thinking about it. kept also thinking of main character as the woman who does Cunk for some reason. really enjoyed it, highly recomended. only heard it about thru the nytimes book review pod, and i'm glad i took their recommendation on board.

8. Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa: it's a sorta typical quiet japanese novel. nothing too deep, just quiet and pleasant.

9. The Searcher by Tana French: i enjoyed this. the mood and setting was built perfectly, you could feel the atmosphere exactly to each detail. 

10. Beloved by Toni Morrison: it was of course a harrowing read. morbid, harrowing, kept seeing lupita nyong'o as the main character. took a while to get through it because of the harrowing nature of it, despite the compelling writing.

11. Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-Reum: i kept reading this as 현암동 then realised via googling that it was in fact 휴남동 and for an (obvious) reason that is an important factor! this stayed with me a lot. it is simple, easy, cozy writing and content, but the (again very overt, no allusions at all) theme is one i'm familiar with and feeling painfully in my bones in day to day life also - the wish to break from work, the wish to escape the grind, and live a more joyful, restful, less hectic and stressful life. it is something i could empathise with too much perhaps. the book will forever be linked to madi diaz, whose music i was just getting into as i was reading this book. it is no high brow literature but one that resonated with me a lot.

12. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: i gotta stop reading bloody best sellers! writing is just so all exposition, i felt this i did this she felt this - like who can NOT write this? yes there is a vaguely intriguing plot but stress on the vague. i regretted starting and felt resentful for having to - or being pushed to complete it just to reach the end, though that became obvious enough 2/3 in perhaps -_- 

13. No One Is Talking About This by Patricia Lockwood: it started very odd, all internet meme speak, no real coherent plot or prose, haphazard cocooned world, just obliquely talking about what happens online, virality etc. i was like, is this what i get for denouncing low brow shitty fiction? i miss normal traditional prose! but the second half became more like it, and oddly moving in a way, when she switches to talking about her sister's baby with a severer genetic condition/essentially terminal one. 

14. The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta: i really enjoyed this. compelling, compulsive read, i couldn't wait to keep reading, every arc was interesting. 

15. This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett: for some reason it was a bit of a drag getting into the earlier stories of this collection of essays, the ones about writing were a bit of a bore/struggle. later on it became more interesting. it is not one of my favourites of hers. 

16. American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld: ooh i enjoyed this too. how she writes so well, making juicy fiction out of real life! who knew mrs bush was/may have been so interesting! it was a pretty hefty size (900+ pages on my e-book app) but again i was compelled to keep reading and loved it. 

17. Wednesday's Child by Yiyun Li: a book of short stories, couple of which were familiar (i think i have heard them from the new yorker fiction podcast, where she read them). lot about death and grief, sometimes heavy but not despairing. 

18. Too Much Happiness by Alice Munro: i'd been meaning to get into her books - then she died. when i checked my newest library (for i have signed onto several), there this was. from the first story what a killer. she writes dramatic devastation. 

19. The Bee Sting by Paul Murray: reminiscent of franzen, a story told by 4 members of a nuclear family, based in ireland, all with their own little harrowing stories to tell. (why am i saying 'harrowing' about every book this year?) it was another massive 950+ page book and i was just hurrying to finish (library due date fast approaching) towards the end, to its inevitable conclusion. 

20. Stay True by Hua Hsu: when this book came out and was hailed last year i wondered - the premise of the book seemed so small, so insubstantial, wow it must be written really well? and indeed it was. it made you feel what he felt, i felt intensely nostalgic for my own university days, the intensity of our friendships and shared memories, long lost relationships. 

21. I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai: been meaning to read this for some time, finally found a physical copy of the book at a library!!! it was good to read a physical book for a change, to see pages turn in real time, seeing my progress. good read. keeps you hooked in. 

22. The Burgess Boys by Elizabeth Strout: strout train continues - i'm almost there, almost near completion. this was also quite enjoyable - again there are plenty negative emotions and people hating each other and themselves but somehow it is bearable even those conflicts and resentments. towards the end, i did not want it to end.

23. An Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro: this was a familiar tone - he writes these characters who are stuffy w a pretentious sense of humility at the beginning, only to slowly reveal their truly grandiose self regard and actually how misguided they were in retrospect. these stuff japanese or english characters, in this book, his first novel and remains of the day. i only have two more of his novels to read to complete the ishiguro set!

24. Butter by Asako Yuzuki: well this was a fascinating read, very captivating hooking you in from the get go. probably one of the better japanese books i've read, that's not so lightly written. all the descriptions of food - butter especially - got me hungering for them even mentaiko pasta - and the gender politics she delves into well that was also fascinating. how women treat men, how men treat women, the caring provided, all that and more... it was a tad long, the end felt dragged a little, but all in all a fun read.

25. Long Island by Colm Tóibín: sequel to brooklyn, this book took me right back there, relatively still vivid in my memory - was it because the film i remember the book so well? it was another readable lovely book. 

26. Headshot by Rita Bullwinkel: it came recommended by many, was blessedly short, and was actually quite a good engaging read, visceral description of a small tournament of young female boxers that let you in their minds and lives, albeit for a short while. it made me yearn to box. 

27. The God of the Woods by Liz Moore: this also came highly recommended by many critics and readers on pods, and i found it a deeply engrossing and propulsive read, lots of little red herrings to the central mystery, and i kept getting worried/annoyed that the poor and powerless will be framed and blamed, but thankfully the ending was not so bleak. enjoyed it a lot. 

28. Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout: i love strout! can we be friends? this was like the strout-universe reunion with all the characters from all her previous books making an appearance some more significantly than others. pain, love, in small and big ways. i love her wee cozy writing, subject is never twee even if how she writes them might be. 

29. The Fraud by Zadie Smith: i struggled with this mightily! especially the first half about the widow and her silly novelist cousin, it was like pulling teeth, the latter section with bogle was just slightly more interesting, but i just did not get it. this did not inspire me to read more zadie smith i can tell you that much. 

30. Intermezzo by Sally Rooney: my only second rooney, after quite loving 'normal people'. it was pretty good, a little repetitive in the beginning and middle dragging but a satisfying end. 

1. Stella Maris by Cormac McCarthy: um well this is my first mccarthy and by the way it turned out, likely last. I have very little patience for lengthy discussions about math and philosophy and theorems etc with tiny bits of some substance throughout that you blink and miss. Pretentious much?

2. Joan is Okay by Weike Wang: how do i say weike? is it wiki? wayki? waykuh? i don't know. starting this immediately after the slog that was stella maris (see above) i was so in love with the beginning chapters of this little lovely book. an isolated socially/culturally inept/unaware chinese immigrant who is an icu doc. it's not exactly my story but it was still a captivating and engaging read. when book went into discussing emergence of covid, i sort of did not want to go there - too real, i don't know if i love that i want to see real events so close to the now in my fiction - but ultimately i did enjoy the book.

3. The Furrows by Namwali Serpell: compelling first chapter that gets you into it straight away, then the alternative scenes that start to get a bit annoying but then the act 2, with the new perspective - it was a good read. writing, and the mood building, the emotions.

4. Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson: i enjoyed this standard but highly readable book. the book really made me want to taste a black cake - some sort of fruit cake??

5. The Farm by Tom Rob Smith: this book i 'enjoyed' (might be the wrong word) a lot. it captivated from page 1, the premise is intriguing as hell to start with, then the way he lets the story unfold, you wonder how is he going to resolve this? but in fact the end is not what you expected, yet somewhat completely believable, and one that cut me to the core. i kept thinking about it, days after reading it. it stayed and stayed with me. 
 
6. The Book of Goose by Yiyun Li: i enjoy her writing. how does one write - not what they know but totally different demographic? sounds stupid to even ask, given that is what writers have done for ages but i'm so used to the contemporary writer who writes what they know, within their own demographic, suddenly it feels foreign and novel (ha). 
 
7. Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: was it life changing? no. but the story is good, driven by two - no three - interesting characters and their relationships. it even got me interested in gaming for a second. the writing - the prose - wasn't like the most beautiful or moving, and plot a little overly dramatic, but the characters were charming and engaging so one stayed absorbed. 
 
8. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo: was it a mistake to read this in english translation? i dont know, probably. it was obviously part 'educational', citing various stats of sex discrimination etc in korea. every page was - ofc in some parts exaggerated - a minor trauma, that many woman (korean and otherwise) would recognise. 
 
9. A Pale View of Hills by Kazuo Ishiguro: he frustrates me sometimes with his slow repetitive insinuations, is the payoff great enough for all that? is the 'suspense' (hardly) exciting enough or just irritating? the build up made me a little annoyed, i thought the stakes were not as great, emotionally not so rewarding. the writing is concise, but is it the most beautiful prose that tugs at your heart - not really. i am not sure why so many rave about him. 
 
10. Lucy by the Sea by Elizabeth Strout: how she kills me, just quietly devastating. i thought the last few books i've read where covid was mentioned in the book i did not love it, but now the almost coziness of their situation early on especially made me almost nostalgic for those early lockdown days. at times i felt, well she is a bit more haphazard here, not so precise, a bit here and there and rambly - but oh towards the end, how she killed me. with that bit about chrissy her daughter especially. i long to write like her. 
 
11. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk: too much talk of trauma becomes trauma itself no? i got to about 60%, and the words became a little too repetitive, trauma stories too - traumatising, if you will, so i had to let it go. also it's formidably long. 
 
12. Diary of a Void by Emi Yagi: i've heard about this book from here and there and found it funny at times, at times (rightfully) infuriating, so real, though ofc to a lesser degree than what she and many other far east asian women have to put up with. i felt the same phantom pregnancy almost. 
 
13. Nocturnes by Kazuo Ishiguro: and she persists, with ishiguro! this was actually a somewhat delightful collection of short stories, all featuring music/musicians. i enjoyed this. is the short story my favourite form?
 
14. Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner: was this a bit over hyped? she writes well enough, but is the story particularly unique? she rebelled a little sure and her mother died a bit young but... it made me long to go to korea and eat all the korean things, the stories of her mum were very familiar korean-mum stories... but i dont know, sometimes, over-familiarity breeds a sense of the prosaic. 
 
15. When We Were Orphans by Kazuo Ishiguro: oh my what is this, 2023 the year of ishiguro? i found this book somewhat more engaging and less annoying than the other constipated englishman stories. how he writes about memories - and how he slowly reveals, little by little, what seemed one way in memory, but may have been something else or someone else entirely - how he unfolds that. 
 
16. This House of Grief by Helen Garner: what a gripping read, a nonfiction book documenting the writer's observations at a court case involving a man and his children who drowned in a car.
 
17. Foster by Claire Keegan: didn't even realise at first that this was what the movie Quiet Girl was based on. what a beautiful tiny novella. lovable.
 
18. The Mill House Murders by Yukito Ayatsuji: urmmm it was ok. i expected more from a japanese mystery writer tbh!
 
19. The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman: it was ok. a cozy murder mystery featuring a group of elderly retirement home friends. i needed a book to read, ok??? 
 
20. The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman
 
21. The Bullet That Missed by RIchard Osman
 
22. Yellowface by Rebecca F. Kuang: i enjoyed this. the premise was delicious. granted it got a bit too much, too hectic and somewhat repetitive in the last third or so of the book, not sure about the ending - it was as though they didn't know how to resolve it well, but i enjoyed it. 
 
23. Counterfiet by Kirstin Chen: this was fun. i have been thinking about luxury bags - my favourite thing - and this was fascinating. made me wonder whether the safest place to buy is at the airport duty free shops, less likely to be returned superfakes etc. but also made me wonder about going to china to get a hermes kelly superfake! terrible but yes that was the temptation on offer while reading this. didnt expect to get so into this book, it was engrossing and well written.
 
24. Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson: ooh this was delightful too. about a rich family in new york (brooklyn) with old money, the young sisters and how they think of class thru love/relationships. it was a quick read, compelling fun read.
 
25. Vladimir by Julia May Jonas: kept seeing the titular character as the actor who portrayed the Hot Priest in fleabag. sexy, visceral read. 
 
26. I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy: at first i wondered - do i like this? is this too much? do i continue? but ultimately she made herself a compelling, likable, empathetic character to read. her struggles, her love and hate of her mother, that complex relationship, i saw that well. 
 
27. Trust by Hernan Diaz: sometimes every one seems to be talking about the same thing in your life - and i'd heard 2-3 different people recommend this book. i enjoyed it. i love reading certain period pieces (this was set in the early 1900s) and about extraordinary people esp women. 
 
28. The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris: read this because i watched a trailer of an upcoming tv show based on it. it was a bit Get Out meets Devil Wears Prada, but i found it stifling, a little annoying, too stressful but not in a good way - is there a good way to be stressed? - so i found myself skimming a lot, just to get through, just to get to the unveiling of the conceit, i just wanted to finish. not sure greatly recommend. 
 
29. The Albatross by Nina Wan: ooh i enjoyed this. how nice it must be to be able to write. i had to adjust my reading, from just skimming from the last book, to actually read full sentences and phrases, marinading in them. i felt the words, viscerally, even the quick sex scenes. gosh darn i love reading these asian women writers. 
 
30. 지구에서 한아뿐 by 정세랑: how long since i've read a korean book (in korean)? a long while. it still feels weird, awkward, like i am not used to the structure, that somehow grammar feels wrong, but it's presumably my brain, my eyes that are wrong, not the writer's. this was - not really my cup of tea, i don't dig aliens, especially in a twee way that this book is written, and lot of 'environmentally friendly' messaging was - preachy? not sure if this is a trend or just how it is with this book (but i felt it with how feminism was treated in kimjiyoung too) but do they need to spell it out like they're writing to elementary school children? 
 
31. The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart by Holly Ringland: it's your typical ... wild story of a girl living in isolation, lots of dv plots, mini family sagas, people falling hotly and blindly in love / lust a thing i cannot really empathise with... but a quick read. 
 
32. Greek lessons by Han Kang: is it wrong to read her in english? this is my second han kang, after the vegetarian, which i remember quite loving, or being moved by somewhat. similarly, evocative writing that makes you feel the atmosphere, the literal climate, the emotions - the claustrophobia. yet another woman made mute in some way, which made me long to be mute for a brief moment.
 
33. Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld: compared to her book rodham this was a very much more conventional, light hearted - romantic comedy! just a quick light read, fine as that.  
 
34. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri: quite an enjoyable read. lovely prose, everything you feel and see as she writes it.
 
35. Leave The World Behind by Rumaan Alam: they kept trying to build tension... with very little reward per se, it wasn't exactly a plot driven thriller - more leave it to one's imagination, process not the endpoint, millieu rather than details of events. not sure it was worth it in the end.
 
36. Only Goodness by Jhumpa Lahiri: more of a short story - not even a collection thereof - at only seventy something pages. similar setting, family, bengali immigrant story things.
 
37. The Lowland by Jhumpa Lahiri: enjoyed it. coming of age/ immigrant story/ complex mother-daughter relationship etc.
 
38. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver: it was a long one - 850+ pages on my ebook! at first i was a bit like oh no not another coming of age story from poverty and terrible upbringing marred by addiction and single parents and poor partner choices etc!!! and it was all of those things, things that sometimes make my eyes roll, just bad to worse situations, that i literally had to skip pages very quickly. but then a bit of redemption, thankfully. at final few pages i was on the train, as a ray of sunshine of sorts appears on page, and i teared up a bit out of a small sense of finally some happiness.
 
39. Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus: well it is certainly entertaining. more telling than showing, more didactic than literary - made me think about what makes a book literary fiction vs not (whatever that not is). when a book does not have to rely on having extraordinary characters - whether that's how smart they are, how beautiful they are, etc etc - when a book does not have to spell everything out, every emotion or thought explicitly stated - well there is an art to that. when a book's 'message' is not so clearly overtly written in bold, for all children to even understand - there is an art to that. 
 
40. Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid: it was an tertaining quick read. not sure what the big fuss is about though
 
41. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho: i still remember back in early 90s in korea this book advertised everywhere in the newspapers like it was the next big thing and reading it was a bit... like it reminded me of the little prince story. uber simple, supposedly deep, but feels still rather not. nice story, maybe for children.

42. Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri: a selection of short stories of varying bengali immigrants again. Well written.

Final book of the year, a year full of Lahiris and Ishiguros.
 

2년 아니 거의 3년 만이구나, 영화관에서 영화를 본 건. 

그이가 인스타그램으로 공짜 티켓을 구했다. 

헤어질 결심, 박찬욱 영화, 평이 좋은 영화, 

우리는 커플로서 둘이 한국영화를 특별히 많이 본 역사가 있다. 첫 영화 데이트는 버닝, 그리고 기생충은 봉준호 감독이 시드니 영화제겸 오기까지 해서 영화뿐만 아닌 끝나고 Q&A도 갔었던.

너무 기대가 컸나? 영화 자체는 조금 기대에 못 미쳤다. 

탕웨이는 예쁘고 혹할 만큼 뭐랄까 끌리는 매력이 많은 여성 이지만 대본도 비쥬얼도 뭔가 2% 부족...

마스크를 쓴 건 우리 둘 뿐이었다.

갑자기 김신영이 나와 백인 노인네들이 80% 였던 영화관 안에서 나 혼자 훗 하고 웃었다. 

1. Sorrow and bliss by Meg Mason: I'm not sure I can say I loved or even liked it. It was readable. I seem to read a lot of books lately that features something about mothers or motherhood or longing for it. Was there too much 'telling' and explaining towards the end? I think so. Was recommended by lots of people on my fave blog, but can't say it left me with a lot of much.

2. Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart: not so unfamilar the whole povo and alcohol and/or abuse ridden coming of age tale. I enjoyed it i suppose.

3. Amy and Isabelle by Elizabeth Strout: she never disappoints. she writes so beautifully, about yearning, about loneliness, the secrets and pains we carry under our masks the internal worlds most aren't privy to.

4. Our country friends by Gary Shteyngart: how weird and refreshing to read a writer who is not korean, but seemingly so immersed/well versed in korean immigrant things? culture, language. that part is somewhat of a delight. it lost me a bit after the climactic act, and yes he tries to be too clever and writes too affectedly if you ask me - but. there is some joy in being seen, being known, as a foreigner, by another foreigner.

5. Mouth to mouth by Antoine Wilson: short, highly readable read (gripping might be a tad exaggeration) - it was a very economical and well written book.

6. The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams: can’t not love a book about women, set in early 1900s, about words!

7. The Dutch House by Ann Patchett: i really enjoyed the book. i've been wondering about these ann(e)s - ann patchett, anne tyler - and well, i thoroughly enjoyed it. it was delicious, at times i had to stop and slow down, while wanting to devour and finish asap coz the story was so delicious and told well. she can write, damnit. 8. Cold enough for snow by Jessica Au: it is more of a novella. The atmosphere, the mood, it is precise, concise, specific. I felt immersed.

9. Redhead by the Side of the Road by Anne Tyler: yet another of the ann(e)s i'm finally exploring this year. easily readable, sweet little book, a bit similar feel to elizabeth strout, of small town small people things.

10. The Maid by Nita Prose: well to be honest, i'm getting a bit tired of the sorta on-the-spectrum, oblivious and neuroatypical protagonist stories... it's getting old. it was a bit simple, not really high brow, barely a summer read, but readable.

11. All She Wants by Kelly Hawkins: sometimes, one just reads a low brow novel just because... now you must know how the book ends. sometimes i wonder, why do people who can't write masterpieces still write? but then, of course that's a stupid idea, plenty ordinary doctors, lawyers, retail workers exist - in any job there are people who are mediocre and others who are great at their jobs. people have to make a living somehow. i am surprised they get to publish, but perhaps it is what it is, again with other professions - maybe they pass a certain (editors? publishers?) test, deemed good enough writers. anyway, it's no literature, i would not recommend, but it is what it is.

12. Fahrenhit 451 by Ray Bradbury: how odd, after reading a low brow novel - how striking the difference is to then go to a literary novel, the brain was wrecked it was like whiplash - what are these phrases and fresh and unusual sentence structures? the non linear narrative, the long soliloquys, basically a writing that is not just 'this happened then she said this then he felt that' kind of simplicity? well it was quite something. it is a classic, the notion which may have been shockingly dystopian then well sounded just like humdrum normal day to day now.

13. The Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley: ... i don't think i can read these low brow type books anymore! i hunger for beautiful prose!!!!

14. Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer: i'm not much for nonfiction but i was hooked via the new tv series... gripping read. very disturbing but really interesting.

15. Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant by Anne Tyler: i'm reading an omnibus containing three of anne tyler's novels. it was a delight, at times painful.

16. The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler: she writes these people, especially men, who are uptight, sticklers for routine, micro-micro-micro types, it's interesting. the mothers are flighty and unreliable or uptight perfectionist types. her writing is delicious and you love to read her.

17. Breathing Lessons by Anne Tyler: prob my least favourite of the three in this omnibus set. main characters were annoying af! urg. slight drag.

18. These Precious Days by Ann Patchett: i loved some of the stories in this book of essays. The one about her no shopping year. The snoopy story (amazing and delightful) and of course the one about her friend sookie who has pancreatic cancer. It inspires me to write.

19. The Remains of The Day by Kazuo Ishiguro: is it really a masterpiece that everyone goes on about? the writing is for sure skilled but oh how annoying i found the stiff, constipated, repressed, quintessentially ENGLISH englishman!

20. Crossroads by Jonathan Franzen: the fact that i finished this book in 14-15 days, this 800-page book, means it was readable. the constant mixing in of religion (good or bad idk), the rage inducing adultery and incredibly boring drug addiction plotline, and the very chaotic mental breakdown arc of marion... i can't say i really liked the book, despite how readable it was.

21. Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro: maybe my favourite ishiguro? it reminded me of his older novel, never let me go. but somehow not as grim. his writing is concise and beautiful.

22. Best of Friends by Kamila Shamsie: this was not as impactful and great read as her last award winning novel home fire - much smaller, based on two friends, and simpler. still enjoyable.

23. Must I Go by Yiyun Li: how can someone of NESB (like myself) who only moved to US in their 20s write like any other person whose first language is that, just like a typical white writer? she writes like that, in prose the style and even substance. a little fancifully but also irritatingly like some white writers do.

24. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote: maybe if i'd read it when i was younger, or when it was actually first published, it may have been more impactful, more mind blowing or expanding. but here i am, a 40+yo person who's watched whole seasons of criminal procedurals principally criminal minds etc so, not much new info to be gained there with regards to the mind of killers and psychopathy etc. the writing was good, it's an engaging and easy read.

25. The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan: this may be the book i've enjoyed the most this year. it's well written, ie it's 'literary' but also a compulsive read, you must continue, know what happens, the emotional toll is just bearable, given where i was at the time, the pain i felt was real, i felt i was frida in my own way - she had her own daughter she was losing, and here i was not getting to have her at all, we were sharing the same loss in a way. i cried, it felt not totally dystopian, like it could be a reality, the horror the injustice the horrid judgements mothers are under constantly. i loved it.

26. Amsterdam by Ian McEwan: such brevity! only 200 odd pages. i appreciate a tight 200 page book. read in couple days. it was... well written? but largely... unmoved. how does this get him a booker idk.

27. French Braid by Anne Tyler: may have been my favourite Anne Tyler. More modern, less constipated, a little hopeful in some ways.

luster - ravine leilani: how many more books can i read where people - women, because most books i read these days feature female protagonists, but also men - are having mindless or intentionally degrading sex? it is not absolutely core to this book, like some others, but it annoys me and i really should stop it. it is boring. the book, seemingly hyped, left me pretty much meh. ok there are some interesting racial - and weird domestic set up elements but nothing particularly moving. it is easily forgotten. 

girl A - abigail dean: the premise is of course intriguing. very readable. but was it very surprising? no.

breasts and eggs - mieko kawakami: i don't know what made me grab it - we had just gotten married, and we were browsing at the city bookshop the day or so after the wedding. i had been interested but knew very little about the plot of the book, only that maybe she is the antithesis of murakami. finally i opened the book this month. it has been some time since i last read a book - i blame the wedding, and all the hoopla of life changing that happened thereafter. anyway - this book, initially it was a slog to get into, but became much more readable about a third way in. i felt for it a bit, given my current state of affairs - the whole 'eggs' side of things - of pregnancy, of one's desire for childbearing and childrearing - and the uncertainty and even the selfishness of it - the unknowable future and unknowable possibility of any 'happiness' for your future progeny - it did strike some small chord in me towards the end. the writing was at times a little tiresome, a little prosaic - but the feel, the sense of the person, i got. 

the lost daughter - elena ferrante: i had just listened to a podcast featuring lisa taddeo, who gushed about ferrante's other works (ie not part of the 4 part my brilliant friend series), and incidentally i had watched a trailer for a movie adaptation of this book, starring olivia colman and dakota johnson which got me intrigued. i wolfed, inhaled, this book within 3 days, something i haven't done in quite a long while. it was a compelling read, all about a woman's feelings about her own mother, her own motherhood, relationship to her daughters, and her sense of identity etc - all very poignant for someone like me of course. 

troubling love - elena ferrante: after the last ferrante book, this was the next on the list on my e-library stock. ferrante writes a lot about mothers and daughters it appears. she also writes a lot of disgust, and a crude sort of violence. it was not as engaging or immediately compelling a read as the lost daughter. 

oh william! - elizabeth strout: another strout number. i love her simple, concise and somehow precise writing. 

olive, again - elizabeth strout: it was like re-visiting old friends. the same old olive, her new beau, the cast of characters. i had just watched the tv series of olive kitteridge, i was surrounded by everything olive again. it is a pure joy, every sentence, every chapter. oh how she writes the way she does! the honesty and precision with which she describes the unpleasantness of life - our negative emotions at times. she is a marvel - both olive, and strout. 

넷플릭스에서 계속 미는거 같은 드라마, 예고편을 보고 별로 감흥이 없었는데

넥스트인패션 승자인 귀여운 디자이너 민주킴의 인스타로 그녀의 옷을 주인공이 입었다는 걸 보고 더 궁금해졌다

그리고 그 여주인공이 너무 예뻐서 눈이 갔다.

그렇게 그럭저럭 재밌게 봤다. 그녀는 정말 예쁘고, 목소리도 좋고, 성깔있는 게 남주가 아닌 여주인것도 약간은 subversion (한국 드라마 치곤) 이라... 

그리고 사운드트랙이 좋다. 이 바로 전에 끝낸 나의 아저씨에서도 그랬듯이 정말 심장을 땡기는 곡들. 

그래서 지금 맘에 드는 몇곡들을 다운 받고 오랜만에 새로운 음악을 즐기는 중.

특히 자넷 서 가 맘에 든다. 목소리, 스타일.

정말 오랜만에 한국 드라마를 재밌게 봤다.

아니, 똑바로 말하면 오랜만에 한국 드라마를 봤는데, 몇개 시도한것 중 끝낸 건 이거 단 하나. (나머지는 몇 에피소드 후 포기)

몇년만인가. 넷플릭스로 매 에피소드를 기대하면서 정말 일주일에 하나 하나 다운 받으며 봄. 

좀 눈물 쥐어짜는 내용이 가끔가다 있지만 - 의학드라마는 어쩔수 없는 occupational hazard - 그건 금방 fastforward하고,

우정, 동료간 이야기가 좋았다. 

의사들이 너무 완벽하고 그런건 웃기지만, 한국에서 일년간 의대생일때 관찰한 걸 봤을때 그렇게 워커홀릭식으로 병원에서 사는 거 같은 삶이, 과장 같지 않았던. 그런 모습은 여기 병원에서는 전혀 볼 수 없는, 어떤면으로는 말도 안되는 라이프스타일이지만, 그렇지만 그런 삶에서 오는 재미도 쏠쏠한 건 분명 있을. 서로에게 더 돈독해질 수 도 있고.

채송화 역을 한 전미도 씨가 너무 좋았다. 깨끗한 피부, 단발머리, 단아한 눈코입, 

12 에피소드로 짧은 것도 좋고, 가볍고, 누군가가 코멘트 어디에 달은 것처럼 '보면서 스트레스 안 받는 드라마'였다 정말. 

음악도, 완전 내 시대/취향.

두 곡을 다운 받았다. 

베이시스 원곡이었던, 그때 90년대에 나보다 나이 훨씬 더많은 사촌 언니가 카세트로 믹스테입 만들어 준 것 안에 있던, 좋은 사람 있으면 소개 시켜줘 - 그때 처음 듣고도 너무 좋았던, 지금도 전혀 올드 하지 않고 상큼하다. 

그리고 전미도가 부르는 '사랑하게 될줄 알았어'. 

계속 따라 부르고 나중에 노래방에 돌아가게 되면 불러보고싶다. 

All the light we cannot see - Anthony Doerr

- good, well written, classic, 'novel'. enjoyed it, highly readable. 

Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine - Gail Honeyman

- readable, written in a simple, jaunty way, i guess because it is written from a perspective of a person with some social awkwardness/almost on the spectrum, maybe it is intentional? not exactly high literature.

My name is Lucy Barton - Elizabeth Strout 

- short, simple, but lovely writing. made me long for my mum the way the protagonist longed for her mum. 

Spiral - Koji Suzuki

- sequel to Ring. not as scary as you might expect. a quick read. more biology/genetics than horror i was expecting. 

Three Women - Lisa Taddeo
- made me feel and think a lot; even though none of the stories are remotely relatable in my life, it could have been - to be a woman, is to be just moments, just a sliding doors away, from such a scenario unfolding, whether that is sexual assault, or manipulation in some way. i wasn't always sympathetic to some of the women, i would hate to be held down and be controlled by carnal desire, but the vulnerability side of it - that i could have been in such situations, it struck something inside me and made me think of the book and the people in it for a while after reading. 

Olive Kiterridge - Elizabeth Strout

- is olive me? cantankerous, emotionally labile, but underneath it all, some good intentions, some good? or so one would like to think. i wish i had my own steadfast henry, or do i have him already? i do love her writing. simple, to the point, honest, no flowery language to be had. 

Girl, Woman, Other - Bernardine Evaristo 

- it started off a little slow, but towards to mid and latter section it was very engaging, could get very absorbed as if i were right there. many people and characters who were not one thing but multifaceted, some likable and many not, the intersecting stories were interesting and a good read. 

The Spare Room - Helen Garner

Rodham - Curtis Sittenfeld

- wow what a book. such a captivating read, absolutely addicting and i often said a delicious read, because it feels so real, so close to the real hillary (or what i perceive her to be like), and to imagine, how her life could have turned out. her voice sounded so real, and i even cried real tears while reading the passage of her breaking up with bill clinton in this alternate reality of the book. the last quarter was not as engaging as the rest, but very much an enjoyable ride.

A lonely girl is a dangerous thing - Jessie Tu

- if the main word that i kept thinking re: rodham was 'delicious', the main emoji to summarise my feelings for this book was the eyeroll emoji. hedonism is so banal. using degrading sex as some device to feel better? so old and so gross and actually just unpleasant and boring. do people really live like this? cannot relate and feel zero sympathy for, mate. 

Anything is Possible - Elizabeth Strout

- my first audiobook. extension of her little universe. a small delight. devastating at times. 

little women: dancing sequences were too twee. whatever love i had for timothee chalamet is now completely erased, he is way too prepubescent... amy was quite compelling. highlight was meryl streep tho.