mind, it obsesses.

i am starting to understand why some women become so obsessed, they become almost deluded that they are pregnant when not even physically plausible. one has this one thing on their mind, now that they know that their chances are non-zero, that they are having unprotected sex, that they know it is a possibility, in fact they have once been pregnant, albeit for the shortest time, and that is all they can think about. no matter that chances are so slim, it's not like you're bonking like rabbits, hardly, but one hopes, one fantasises, one wishes, prays, tries to hope it into existence. every belly pull, every bloated feeling, every pang of nausea, frequency of urination, change in one's secretions, they all mean something - or nothing. time loses all meaning, for i am not even at expected next cycle and yet, and yet, and yet. that is all one can think about. hoping for a sign, hoping against hope.