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it's nearly midnight,

i feel like listening to tracy chapman,

i'm about to go to sleep,

alone.

desire fades, as expected, it was inevitable of course.

but how i react so quickly, so viscerally, to a sense of rejection.

i've given up on my parents, or friends,

but i guess i'm still stupid or hopeful or something, to not have given up on this.

and so every time they make me feel just a little rejected, there i go become emotional again.

i wonder if it's easier for the attractive beautiful people who feel whole in themselves

to feel strong, to feel desirable, even when left alone.